The Booze Bin

10 Reasons Why Shaq Should Hire Us for Luv Shaq’s Launch

THE BOOZE BIN

by Cassandra Bianco (@cnbianco)

tough shaqvote vodka

 

Shaquille O’Neal announced Monday he is launching his own line of vodka — “Luv Shaq.” The former NBA star plans to launch in 2013 with a sugar- and gluten-free coconut flavored wallop.

And who will have the privilege for this new product PR launch? CRT/tanaka would like to power forward as the No.1 contender. Here are the top 10 reasons why we should get picked:

10. We may or may not have top secret competitor info. One of us jetsetted with rapper [retracted] in [region retracted] France to help him pick out his poison. bethenny frankel

9. People will know your coconut vodka is way cooler than Bethenny Frankel’s coconut vodka.

8. We throw awesome parties. (Our office parties are great too, the tree trimming party last week involved homemade spiced rum cider.)

7. This gluten-free vodka will enjoy similar press coverage to our other gluten-free client, maple syrup from Canada, featured in Forbes, TIME and Perez Hilton.

6. Unlike snooty bartenders, we believe vodka is far from being the Lord Voldemort of liquor.

5. Our New York office features a living room, a meditation room and a lunch room decked out with a test kitchen. We promise you will feel right at home, and we make better Shaqaroni and Cheese than yo mama.

4. We are fun. Here is a picture of our press friends after a wine battle in Spain. That’s right. They got to shoot water guns full of wine at each other.

wine battle

3. We represent a variety of food and wine regions, and will host a personal pairing seminar. Specifically, we would like you to try a Rioja Crianza that pairs magnificently with the Shaqaroni and Cheese.

2. We just got off the phone with Danny Meyer at Shake Shack. They have requested rights to the Luv Shaq Milkshake for the Shake Shack menu. (Steak and Shake did not return our call.)

1. Well, because Shaq, we will hacky sack the competition. (We know) we got skillz.

Bookmark and Share
About Admin:

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>